A Funny Looking Half-Nekkid Obese Duck..A Weirdo's Mind..
fatpekingduck
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Name: Gargantuan
Gender: Female


Interests: Reading in the loo, pestering insects, farting, eating and burping
Expertise: Master of procrastination, hugging, touching, groping, trivia etc. I'm full of unrealized potentials.
Occupation: Official idiot molester
Industry: Education


Message: message me
Website: visit my website
MSN: anas7asiag@hotmail.com
ICQ: 21848086


Member Since: 7/22/2006

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I'm Back!

It's been a long time...
Sorry, I traveled a lot, too busy performing my 'incredible farting duck' show, bla bla bla
Should I start writing? I'm reluctant to pour out my dirty malodorous juicy fart since my privacy was raped.
It's probably the worst idea since Hitler's dad said to Hitler's mum 'come up stairs butch, I'm feeling horneh tonight'


Sunday, January 28, 2007

Meet my second cousin, Crockee

I will always love you matey. I found you laying down (belly facing down) and I carried you with chopsticks for a couple of minutes until my flatmate, Baulou, and I decided to kill you gracefully with boiling water. We witnessed your erotic cockroachy dancing before your last breath.

 crockee

RIP Crockee.We forgot to burry you, perhaps your sexii blackee body is still in the sewer. Thanks for making our kitchen stinkee


Man's groin impaled on steel fence
January 29, 2007 - 8:16AM

A man was impaled in the groin area when he fell from a first-floor balcony on to a steel fence in inner Melbourne early today.

A Metropolitan Ambulance Service spokeswoman said the man, in his early 20s, fell from the balcony of a terrace house in Rathdowne Street, Carlton, about 3.45am.

He was taken to the Royal Melbourne Hospital in a stable condition.

Metropolitan Fire Brigade station officer Craig Calwell said the man freed himself with the aid of emergency crews.

"We didn't use any rescue equipment. We supported him and he freed himself from the fence," he said.

"He suffered a wound in the groin area and lost a bit of blood. It was quite unfortunate

Fenech, is it you? I'm so damn worried! Don't worry, I still find ballless/dickless bunnies attractive. Please hop carefully

 


Meet my cousin, Perky

Super duck does it again
Volunteer Sara Chamlis with Perky the duck at Goose Creek Wildlife Sanctuary. 
 
 

After enduring being shot, dragged by a dog and then having her presumed-dead body thrown in a kitchen fridge, US wonder-fowl Perky the duck has again shown her lust for life during an operation to repair her injured wing yesterday.

Perky suddenly stopped breathing during the operation, according to Noni Beck, wildlife rehabilitator at the Goose Creek Wildlife Sanctuary in Tallahassee, Florida.

"It was a rough day yesterday,'' she told smh.com.au.

She said she had taken Perky to a local veterinarian for the operation, where she was told it would be touch-and-go for the fragile bird.

The vet began to operate and had just finished pinning Perky's wing when she abruptly stopped breathing, said Ms Beck.

"He's giving her oxygen, he's kind of tapping on her chest - he actually took a needle and kind of stuck her, because a little pain response can make you gag - and then he turned to me and said, 'she's gone, I am so sorry'.''

But suddenly the duck came back.

"We were sitting there looking at each other and then it's been 10 seconds and somebody said, 'she just took a breath'.''

Ms Beck didn't realise how affected she was by Perky's close call until she went to her car afterwards to call a friend.

"I literally broke down, I was sobbing on the phone. I think the first words to come out of my mouth were, 'she's alive'. It was an emotional rollercoaster.

"She's stolen all our hearts, she's such a perky little thing.''

Perky is now back at the sanctuary, doing well and spending much of her time on her personal heating pad, Ms Beck said.

Perky's amazing story has generated an huge amount of interest in what the sanctuary does.

"The response has just been unbelievable,''  said Mrs Beck.

Numerous donations had been received as well as an almost overwhelming number of telephone calls from concerned citizens.

But the best thing, she said, was when one of the volunteer's sisters hit upon  an idea.

"She said, 'y'all need to make a t-shirt'.''

So Ms Beck and her team are now selling t-shirts with all funds going to Perky's recuperation and the sanctuary.

The t-shirt says "I helped the lucky duck" and has a picture of Perky on it. 

A local mall has a stall for the t-shirts and they are also being sold on a local man's website.

Ms Beck said they have already sold about 80 shirts.

BUY THE SHIRT OR I'LL SHOOT YOUR BIG HAIRY ASS!

 


Monday, January 22, 2007

Question of the century : To spit or not to spit.

End of Shanghai's spitting image

January 23, 2007 - 2:05PM

Taxi drivers in China's financial capital of Shanghai are to be issued with "spit sacks" to curb their habit of rolling down their windows and hawking into the road, state media reported today.

Phlegmatic cabbies will soon have a sack fixed to the metal grill that surrounds the driver's seat, so that they and their passengers can make use of it.

The special sacks will be distributed to 45,000 taxis by the Shanghai Patriotic Sanitation Committee to curb spitting in public places, a habit Chinese authorities have long been trying to discourage.

"The 'no spitting' regulation came after Shanghai decided to make people give up the ugly and unhygienic habit and present a healthy city for the 2010 World Expo," the China Daily said.

The spit sack follows an earlier innovation in Shanghai's public hygiene, after the city attached spittoons to garbage cans on sidewalks, the newspaper reported.

The spittoons, however, were not a success. Residents mistook them for ashtrays.

Organisers of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, worried about the reaction of visitors, have repeatedly said the capital needs to teach its people to stand in line, stop spitting and littering and generally be better mannered.

I love spittoons. As a matter of fact, I'm used to watching chinks split happily on the street and stepping my beautiful fake leather boots on a pond of saliva.





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